Category Archives: Relationships

How do you approach a lady you have been eyeing when she is with her girlfriend(s)

approaching a lady from her pack of friends

So I was wondering how do you approach a girl you have been crushing on or that you suddenly sight on a fateful day and want to chat her up bad but she is with her girlfriend or girlfriendssss. I don’t know if there’s a hard and fast rule to going about this but I can certainly say that just approaching the lady and ignoring her friends is likely not gonna score you pretty with her friends, and most likely would come off as rude, uncool and a turn off to even the girl you are trying to woo. So your best bet may be to carry her and her friends along with the conversation, whichever angle you wanna go at it from.

Perhaps it could start with meeting each of them by complimenting their outfits or getting to know their names, asking general questions such as the schools they both attended or perhaps if they’re studying the same course blah blah. Questions like that which are general in context should make things less awkward and difficult for you to relate with them. Then maybe if she is with two or more friends, that could be a blessing in the sense that should you dare to carry on the conversation with the damsel you are really after exclusively, after of course acknowledging her friends’ presence, then just maybe her lady friends would be cool to code what’s up and give you two some space by keeping themselves busy chatting away, even though they may be eavesdropping stylishly if they are not standing too far away from you and their friend, but that really shouldn’t be a bother. You know the ball is now in your court, and you gotta make it count with the lady and hopefully get her digits in the end just before you release her to her friends or before her girlfriends do the job for you and cut the convo between you two deliberately.

In another scenario, if you are damn sure you are gonna be seeing her again, then you may not necessarily ask for her number just yet, Just work your way into meeting with her first time, then you can make the move for her number the next time which should be relatively easier to get then. And if for some reason she doesn’t release it the first time, understand and don’t give up the chase too soon.

So that’s like my two kobo on the matter o. I imagine it could be awkward and a little tricky but as a sure boy you have to be confident and go for the chic, just being yourself and thinking on your feet spontaneously. Hopefully it turns out fine and you make a good impression in her books and her friends’ too.

And it just might be happily ever after in the end…………..Guy code.*wink*

11 Reasons Why You Should Date An Unemotional Woman

gorgeous isn't she
gorgeous isn’t she *.*

There’s a special subset of women who get a bad rep because they’re not the bubbly, outwardly girly, let’s-share-our-feelings type of characters. They largely keep to themselves, don’t show much affectation and are frequently written off as cold bitches by other women and men.

These ladies, however, are anything but heartless brutes. In fact, they possess a much deeper, purer kind of character because it’s kept hidden from view so often.

These are the women who deal with their problems on their own and don’t like going to people when they’re upset.

They’re the ones who act like they don’t care but are very tuned into the conversation. They’re like the pragmatic, methodical Amy from “Gone Girl” (minus the psychotic part).

This nuanced intrigue is what makes an unemotional woman. She’s not the slanderous misnomers we liken her to.

Her subtlety is also her biggest attraction. And when you fall for her, you’ll feel like you’ve never met someone so entirely her own person. Here are the 11 reasons why you should date an unemotional woman:

1. She doesn’t want to talk about her feelings

Unemotional women aren’t completely devoid of emotions (read: we aren’t sociopaths), they just don’t want to sit in a circle, taking turns discussing their inner feels. They’d simply rather move on from them or tackle them alone.


2. She won’t put on airs to make herself feel better

She doesn’t feel the need to fake it around people or do something dramatic to improve her mood. She doesn’t seek out attention to draw away from her problems, or spiral out of control.

Because she’ll keep her downtrodden spirits to herself, an unemotional woman is the easiest and yet hardest friend to have.


3. She doesn’t care what people say about her

She cares more about how she would describe herself. For this reason, unemotional women are confident and remain unaffected. They’ll take the blame for a friend and ownership of their actions because they don’t get upset by what other people think of them.


4. She’s not great at comforting others

It’s not that she doesn’t care about your feelings — she isn’t well-equipped to handle them. She often says the wrong things, but it’s not meant to hurt. The way she tries and misses can be sweetly endearing, though. Remember, her intentions are good.


5. She’ll never come to you asking for reassurance

Her actions are dictated by her thoughts, not her emotional responses. Because she has a difficult time opening up and making herself vulnerable, she isn’t going to be dependent on the support of others. Those who she does, in fact, open up to are special.


6. Those she loves, she loves deeply

She doesn’t particularly like or love anyone outside of her small inner circle. It’s not that she’s asocial or socially awkward, she just interacts with people on a purely functional level. She doesn’t associate degrees of affection for people who she doesn’t let into her life.

This allows for her to be a devoted friend, lover and family member because she directs all of her heart to this meaningful group of people.


7. She releases her tensions through constructive ways

She’s not going to lash out or break down and cry (at least not in front of you). She won’t dump her problems on you or have long, miserable venting sessions.

An unemotional girl channels this energy through productive or creative means, like kick boxing, writing, dancing, painting, playing music. She might avoid deep talks, but she’ll welcome deeply good fun.


8. Outward displays of affection make her uncomfortable

She gets embarrassed for couples who are overly emotional or publicly intimate. But in the most private and protected depths of her soul, she relishes romantic moments with her partner and the many layers of falling in love.

Don’t worry about having her show up to a guy’s night — she knows how to play it cool in front of the boys.


9. There are only a few people she needs validation from

You’ll know if you’re there. She doesn’t need random peripherals reinforcing her self-esteem. In fact, she hardly even thinks about her self-esteem because it’s a non-issue.

To those she seeks approval from, she would never admit. It makes your bond all the more sacred, and the attention she does give all the more coveted.


10. She never noticeably cracks under pressure

This is because she doesn’t over-analyze a situation to the detriment of finding an appropriate solution. Without her flighty emotions bogging things down, she only gets stronger and rises to the challenge. You can always rely on her to see the bigger picture and get things done.


11. She gets the feels

She does indeed have feelings, just not ones that she cares to express to others. She’ll cry, but will never be seen crying in the arms of someone else.

Despite appearing tough on the outside, she has her weaknesses like tragic love stories and plush animals and the beach at dusk. And if you’re lucky, she’ll reveal this side to you.

Photo Courtesy: We Heart It

Post first appeared originally on elitedaily.com

Why It’s Hotter To Refuse A Drink Than To Accept One

VARIOUS

image: dailymailuk

College is different than the real world in many ways. It was a bubble; you were able to act, dress and live in a way deemed unacceptable in the “real world.” It was a time of beer bongs, keg stands and crop tops. It’s when Sundays were for nursing hangovers and handles of vodka were finished before the party.

Your coolness was dependent on how many shots you could take or seconds you could last on the keg. As a woman, your chill factor depended on how well you could keep up with the boys and how quickly you could shotgun a beer.

Taking shots with everyone was part of the camaraderie and enjoying the party meant always joining in on the shot ski.

I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but somewhere between graduating and fitting into your first Ann Taylor pants suit, there was a shift in cultural norms. Somewhere between renting your first apartment and throwing away that college sweatshirt with the questionable stains a new protocol was set.

Cocktail hours and apartment parties no longer consist of jungle juice and Vlad. There aren’t two girls throwing up in the bathroom and no one wants to have a chugging contest.

Your coolness is no longer dependent on how wasted you can get and how many shots you can take without throwing up. Suddenly, it’s cool to be… responsible.

Rather than gaining respect for your wild antics, you’re judged for them. Of course, it’s totally fine to get drunk and enjoy yourself, but now it’s no longer so uncool to be kind of sober.

The girl who refuses the drink is no longer lame, but cool. She’s cool because she knows her limits. She’s cool because she isn’t about to get out of control.

She’s cool because she seems to know that those college years are over. Because people won’t be talking about her drunk stories with awe and empathy, but with pity and a hint of disdain. She’s no longer the girl who ripped 20 shots and stripped for the party, but “that girl who did 20 shots and stripped for the party…”

Unlike in high school and college, where always accepting a drink was hot, refusing a drink is now even hotter. Because now it’s not about how drunk you can get, but how drunk you didn’t get.

Self-restraint is sexy

A woman who knows when to say “no” is a woman in control. Saying “no” is sexy because it turns “yes” into a privilege. Saying “no” when everyone around her is saying “yes” creates a unique coolness that can’t be replicated by the girl who will drink anything you give her.

People respect a woman who knows how to keep herself grounded, even when everyone else is jumping off tables.


She’s not a guaranteed thing

She’s not the kind of woman you can tempt into a few shots and promise the world to; she is a woman who needs to be won over in different ways.

You can’t feed her shots until she warms up to you, and buying drinks won’t score you extra points. She’s not going to be an easy score, but that’s why scoring with her is worth more.


She knows her limits

A girl tests her limits, a woman knows her limits. She is not figuring out how to handle herself or how far she can go. She knows her limitations and she sticks to them.

She’s crossed lines before, but now she’s ready to stick to the side that makes her most comfortable.


She doesn’t succumb to peer pressure

If you can’t pressure her to take a shot, there’s most likely a few other things you can’t pressure her to do.

Peer pressure is not always the easiest thing to say no to, but a woman who can resist it is a woman who has strength. She knows herself and doesn’t need her peers to determine her worth.


She can hold her own

She can stand in the middle of a party and not feel insecure or uncomfortable. She doesn’t need to take shots to feel better and certainly doesn’t need the beer bong to make friends.

She understands that alcohol doesn’t always get more people to talk to her, but rather behind her. She’d rather hold her own than another glass.


She’s capable of having fun without alcohol

She doesn’t need liquor to get along with everyone. Refusing a drink doesn’t mean she’s stuck up, but rather, always cool. She doesn’t need to take shots with people to get along with them because she already does.

A woman who doesn’t need alcohol to make small talk is a woman who can go anywhere, and she won’t demand an open bar.

This post first appeared on elitedaily.com

Life Lessons I took away from ‘Think Like A Man Too’

think like a man toophoto credit: flickr

Apart from the humor and laughter the movie  Think Like A Man Too lavished me so well with, it also taught me some valuable life lessons which I would love to share with you…

1) It  taught me to always put first relationships, to be more elaborate, relationships between love birds , before any major career, business or any other life changing decisions. My point is one should make it a point of necessity to talk about and reach a mutual agreement on any significant issue that could severe the relationship in the long run such as a location splitting between you two. This however, in my opinion, should be reasoned out wisely and thoughtfully because such opportunities might not come around again for all we know…dicey one i hear you say eh!

2) It also taught me that one should not dwell on the negative  past of your partner and using it to judge their present, especially if  your man/woman has re-assured you that he/she has turned a new leaf. The onus then lies on you to trust your partner and enjoy your relationship with him/her, except of course he/she then gives you a concrete reason to question their ‘repentance’.

3) Another moral of the story I picked up, especially with reference to fathers and mothers, to accept the situation and circumstances under which your son or daughter may have chosen who they want to spend the rest of  their life with, and drop the unreasonable sentiments.  Perhaps, the only exception should be when there is a life threatening situation, or perhaps a religious (biblical) pertinent reason(for the spiritually-minded ones)  involved that might back up your being against their union.

4) And finally, on a lighter note, and this one’s inspired by Mr ‘Turn it up’ himself, Kevin Hart, always do well to double check the amount you are paying for to reserve a holiday getaway room so that you don’t have to go desperate and borrow some money from your buddy or bet all your life savings to pay up for the deficit, even though you might be silly lucky to win the bet. Also, don’t undervalue any note or denomination  of seemingly lower value, particularly when placing a bet cos that  just might be your joker to your jackpot! Lol….

And that’s that for that. Let me know your thoughts if you have seen the movie as well, and for those who haven’t, you should go check it out when you can. Adieu!